24...

Today's my birthday. I'm officially the big 2-4. Old as dirt, I know. :)

I've been on a diet and blogging break. As much as I'm loving law school and all the new friends I've made (We went out to dinner on Thursday to celebrate. Over 20 people came. I felt so loved!!), law school wears me out! I constantly ride an emotional roller coaster, but overall I know I'm on the right path.

I've been trying to go to the gym a few times a week, and I'll admit that I miss going and running 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week. I miss spending hours in the gym. I just don't have the time for it now, and I'm mostly using my workouts as a way to relax. I still work hard and leave drenched in sweat, but working out has become more than just a calorie burner. And in a lot of ways, I think that's good for me.

So today I'm thankful to have everything I need and to be 80 pounds lighter than I was on my birthday 2 years ago. The sun is shining, I'm getting ready to head to North Carolina for a few days, and I'm off from school for the next week.

:)

Sitting, waiting, wishing.

Lonely, starting to get stressed, diet just isn't happening. Nathan was supposed to come next week but is going to be home for the next 2-3 weeks because of a big family issue he says he can't tell me about.

I love school, but I'm so burnt out right now. I need a night with my best friends, where I laugh until I cry. I need to goof off and be silly.

And I need sleep.

I'm not dead...

Hey all!

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. The past few weeks have been busy with 2 midterms, a paper, a visit from high school friends, and the drama that seems to be my life these days.

Overall, I'm happy (now that I'm past midterms).
However, I don't have anything really to update- life got crazy, my eating habits led me to oreos and pizza rolls and all that is delicious and greasy, and I only made it to the gym twice last week. I came home for the weekend, but I know I'm going to the gym tomorrow afternoon, and then to the grocery store to stock up on the fruits and veggies. :)

Busy as ever...

Life is hectic right now. There was a midterm yesterday, a paper due this weekend, and another midterm next week. Add in friend time, gym time, errands, and the necessaries like eating, sleeping, and bathing... and life gets a little crazy.

I'm feeling removed today. I was social all evening yesterday; today I came home for lunch and decided to just stay here until I have to go back for Criminal Law. I just kind of need a little me time.

On the weight loss front, I actually gained this week- as I studied for the midterm, I just kept eating, and I didn't work out last week Wednesday through Friday. I'm trying to get myself back on track- yesterday's eating was terrible, but I'm doing better today.

And so it goes...

All in a day's work...

My how the week has flown. I'm exhausted and incredibly glad tomorrow is Friday.

My eating has been pretty good this week, though I only worked out Monday and Tuesday. I donated blood on Wednesday and tonight I baked pumpkin cupcakes for class tomorrow (our Torts professor is making us have 4+ hours of class tomorrow, but we get a movie and snacks in the process) and I went to the movies tonight. I have plans tomorrow evening and Saturday morning/afternoon... the rest of the weekend will be devoted to studying for my contracts midterm.

The weight is hovering around 192 right now. It's a happy number. My favorite jeans button again, though they're still a bit too tight to wear. Also, I ordered tall boots earlier this week that should be here tomorrow- I have big calves and have never been able to wear tall boots. I finally got online and found some that should work, and I am soooooooooooooooooo freaking excited to wear them! They'll go perfect with a little gray sweater dress I have, and will open doors for more cute fall skirts/dress outfits. I'll post some pictures when I find an adorable outfit.

Workout Goddess

Tonight's workout was FABULOUS.
Absolutely amazing.
I felt sooooo good when I left the gym.

I went to spinning, did arms for about 15-20 minutes, and then jogged about 1.5 miles. I literally felt stress melting off of me.

In other news, my dating life is a hot mess. Nathan and I are "talking" again, I think, and I've been hearing from the boyfriend from before Nathan in addition to a few new flirtations on the horizon. Right now I don't know what I want...and when I say I don't know what I want, I mean I want to be with Nathan but I don't know about the while long distance thing. We talked for a few hours last night and essentially established that if we were in the same town we would still be together.

Midterms and a big paper are also on the horizon for next week, so life is busy busy right now.

Despite the stresses, I'm happy.
Happier than I've been in a long time.

Let's remind ourselves of something...

Today I got frustrated because I'm not in great shape anymore. My miles were all 13 minutes or over today, I got blisters because I haven't ran in a long time and I wore my old worn out shoes... but by the end of my workout, I realized I've got to stop being so negative and just remember the positive. The top picture is me today, sweaty and no makeup after I got home from running, lifting, and crunches. The other picture is me (far left) August 2007, sweating just sitting on a bench. Oh how far I've come. :)

Sometimes, I just have to remind myself that this is a JOURNEY, not a fast fix. I'll have my slip ups, my bad decisions, my set backs. But in the end, I know I'm moving towards a better place.

I know it won't fix everything. If anything, I've learned that being 90 or 100 or 110 pounds lighter doesn't magically make things disappear. In many ways, it brings out new problems you've never dealt with before (hello, dating and hooking up)... but until I really focus that this whole journey thing has to be about ME and not anyone else, I'm not going to do as well as I could.

Living the good life...

I'm so glad it's the weekend. I tend to get so stressed out and run down during the week, and I love using the weekends to recharge.

This morning I woke up, went to the gym for 45 minutes, and went to the tanning bed for the first time in months. I know it's terrible for you, but quite frankly I enjoy that time where no one is talking to you, you're warm and cozy, and you feel kind of like a snake sunning itself on a rock.

My diet's actually been going really well the past few days, and I've managed to keep up with workouts too. The number on the scale is going down, I feel like I'm making a lot of new friends and starting to adjust, and overall, life is good.

Life in Morgantown

Just wanted to put up a couple pictures from a few weekends ago... weight around 197 in these. The top picture is me and my friend Josh at the party a few weeks ago, the bottom one is tailgating with Lauren.

I woke up to 194.2 smiling at me on the scale, I'm feeling better than I did last night, and I want to make the most of my day.

My upcoming weight goals:
193.2- 90 pounds lost
186- Where I started WW in the spring
183.2- 100 pounds lost
178- The long term plateau weight. Also the weight I know my favorite jeans will fit again. :)

Lonely, baby I'm not lonely, baby I got my imaginary friends...

Title courtesy of "Lonely Holiday" from the Old 97's.

It's official.
I'm sad.
I miss my friends in Lexington, even as I'm making new ones here.
I'm missing Lexington... walking through downtown, reading in one of the parks, the major shopping, the local restaurants, the quirky little stores.
I miss Nathan even if he's not in Lexington now.
I miss having a boyfriend.
I miss Nathan being my boyfriend.
I miss Nathan period.
I did something with someone other than Nathan that I don't necessarily regret, but I wish hadn't happened. Upon telling one of my dear old friends, he laughed at me, and told me that like with everything else in my dating life I'm just catching up to people, about 4 or 5 years later than most.

My diet isn't going so well either. I eat wonderfully or horribly...or not at all, if I'm sick, lol. Today was the first time I'd been to the gym in over a week (but I did have the plague last week). The weight that was so easy to gain is coming off so slowly- I'm down 6 pounds since I started, at about 1 pound a week.

Overall, I just need a friend. I need a long talk with Mandy as we walk laps after spinning at the gym. I need girl's night with my core group, a big hug and a friendly smile, and encouragement that things will get better and I'll find my place.

I can't say that I hate it here. I'm making friends and I enjoy my classes.
But today... today...

I really wish I was in my apartment half the size of this one, curled up with Nathan watching a movie, on the phone with Mom real quick, telling her I'm fine and having fun, no worries, and Mandy runs upstairs to stick her head in and say hi. I wish I had just gotten back from a Mexican dinner with the apartment gang, that I still had my huge bathroom and fancy bathtub. I wish I had my shitty view of New Circle road, but my awesome balcony.

Lexington became my home in the 5 years I lived there, and I'm missing my home!