Here's the situation:
1- I went back to WW. I weighed in at 251 pounds, and lost 10 pounds in the first week.
2- I went to the doctor this summer to get a checkup. My blood pressure is high. The first thing the PA told me was "we don't give out diet pills here", and later said, well, have you ever tried a food journal? Weight watchers? Calorie counting? (Well duh.)
3- I feel like I'm a failure (at weight loss).
On the other hand...
1- I'm enjoying my classes this semester. 2L is much better than the year of being a scared 1L.
2- My boyfriend is amazing. He loves me for who I am. He reaffirms how pretty I am and how much he loves my body (as is) on a daily basis. We take care of each other and do what we can for each other.
3- There's a hint of fall in the air, and fall's my favorite season. I'm snuggled with Toby cat. I'm done with today's HW and I'm getting ready to go to the gym... Life isn't so bad.
I just feel like I'm not appreciating the good life I have because I'm so hung up on insubstantial issues. And I can't figure out how to get to that happy place even though it probably looks like I'm there:
3 comments:
Hell, you're in love - weight loss aside I'm already jealous! And at least you're in the right place to get back on track with weight loss mentality - I used to have another blog on here but also fell off the wagon and disappeared for a long time, I've recently come back with a new blog and new journey so I decided to steal all the blogs I used to follow from the first time round and yours was one of them, glad to see others starting again with me, good luck! ^_^
I'm SO glad that you wrote again!
First of all, can I just say that you still look great?
Secondly, if you have a chance, check out Geneen Roth's book "Women, Food, and God."
It's changed my way of thinking about everything.
I can't recommend it enough.
You're happy or content or both! That's more than most people start a weight loss journey with.
It's great your boyfriend loves you "as-is". Otherwise, he wouldn't deserve to be your boyfriend. As part of taking care of each other, he needs to support you in your weight loss goals, which presumably, would lower your blood pressure. Whether it's working out with you or eating in rather than eating out, I'm sure he'd love to be there for you however you need.
Like you said, you've done it before and can do it again. Other than health, school, and love.... everything else seems fairly insubstantial. So, try to focus on the important things.
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